Don't tow my car!......then again, just don't shoot me!

Over the last few days, there have been several people in our neighborhood that have complained by e-mail that their cars have been towed because they parked on the street over night. Our neighborhood has a rule that there is no overnight parking on the street. The reasoning behind the rule is due to the width of the streets, it would be difficult for emergency vehicles to maneuver around them. I agree. There are times when it is a challenge to get my truck through, which is much smaller than a fire truck. I got a laugh from these folks complaining. The homeowners passed a rule with a consequence. You broke the rule, deal with it. This is no different than getting a speeding ticket because you are rushing. You broke the speed limit and got caught.

For me, I have no problem with this. However, I found out yesterday evening that the tow company is being paid by the homeowners association to patrol the neighborhood. Wait a minute! The tow company gets paid to drive around, then they get paid again when the person collects their vehicle. I do have a problem with this. A portion of the dues I pay goes to the tow company. This is ridiculous. I have no problem with the no overnight parking or you get towed rule. However, the tow company does not need to get paid twice. Let the tow company patrol if they want to at no cost. If they find a car, tow it, and get paid. If they don't tow anything, better luck next time. Tow companies are very familiar with this system with repos. They don't get paid until the repo vehicle is recovered. No car, no pay! Very simple.

This brings me to the other ridiculous homeowners association story in the news. In Florida a neighborhood watch person shot and killed a teenage boy who was walking down the street. The back story is that the neighborhood had several break ins over the last 6 months. So, the watch person sees this boy, kills him, and then claims self defense. The boy was talking on his cell phone, not loading his AK47! The crazy thing to me is, why was a neighborhood watch carrying a gun? Pepper spray, a taser, a paintball gun maybe, but a deadly handgun?

Homeowners associations are a great invention. I had a prior neighbor in a neighborhood without an association that had the authority to enforce its rules, that was a nightmare. It is a miracle that we were able to sell our house with him beside us. Unfortunately, associations are full of people. Some people are reasonable, some are closed minded, some are all about the rules as long as they can do anything they want, and then there are some that are power hungry. It reminds me a lot of the state of our national political system. At the end of the day, we need to come together and have an enforceable set of rules with consequences without being extreme.

Hey God, can you hold just a moment, my other line is beeping?

This week will be one year since the Wells Fargo layoff. I was reflecting a little with Linds and felt that this was a good time to share this story. During my years at Wells/Wachovia I enjoyed my co-workers and my amazing manager, Debbie Hines, who I will always have the utmost love and respect for. But, I was like many in the corporate world, stressed, overrun with new quotas, forms, meetings, and processes. What kept me in it? The money and the love of helping people with their finances. I referred to it as the golden handcuff. I did not enjoy some of the things that came with the job, but I was very good at it and it paid well. All of that changed on March 23rd, 2011. I had taken the day off to work on R's playground, when my phone rang. It was my Sr. manager asking if I had spoken to anyone from the office that day. I was thinking to myself, "I am off work, I am trying hard not to speak with any of you." He explained that our office of around 250 people was being closed. I remember being speechless and numb. It is hard to explain to someone who has not experienced this for themselves. This was not a choice, but a powerless feeling like I have never felt. The next morning, I remember waking up in a daze. I would be going in to clean out my desk. When I got out of the shower, I walked in the closet and opened my junk drawer that I keep my watch in. A poker chip that was given out at church a few months prior rolled to the front of the drawer and grabbed my attention. This chip had the phrase; "The Best Is Yet To Be" written on the face. On the other side were the words "Hopeful Imagination". WOW! I remember feeling at that moment that, no matter what happened, I was going to be ok.



Looking back one year later, it is amazing how true that was. 2011 was full of down moments, false starts, and fear of the unknown. But, having the faith that the best is yet to be, I have found myself in a much better place. I still have that poker chip in my drawer to remind me that we will not always know where we are going to end up, but we have to believe that good things are to come to those who are faithful and open to God's plans. Now I am not one to talk about my religious believes in great detail. The simplest reason is that I find this to be very personal. However, I find it difficult to tell this story without talking about it.

In my quiet time first thing in the morning, even before all of this happened, I try to tune out all of life's distractions and listen. For an ADD person like myself, this can be very challenging, but I try regardless. During this time is when I receive most of the answers that I am searching for. (To questions that bother me so!). That listening is what led me to the decision to begin with Northwestern and later to leave that position. Some people might look at my time at Northwestern as a failed attempt. I did at first as well. However, during my quiet time I realized that this was a step that needed to be taken. Northwestern sponsored me to sit and pass the securities and insurance exams. This step also turned the light on to show me a career that would take something precious away from me, stress free time with R. It does not matter how worn out she can make me, there is nothing better than singing silly songs and dancing, playing pretend, and reading stories. Those moments are worth more than gold.

There is no place that I would rather be than where I am right now. I know that some out there may think that I have settled. This cannot be further from the truth. When I started working after college, I said many times, "the only thing better would be to do what I am doing in Wilmington." Well little did I know that prayer would be answered. It took 5 years, but it was fulfilled. I have always been a believer in doing what you love. After all, if you don't love it, then why do it? You only have so many years. What a shame it would be to look back on a working career and have to think, "I can't believe I allowed myself to be miserable for that long".

I can truly say that my life is "Better than Good"! (This is an excellent audio book by Zig Ziglar. If you have not listened to it you should.)

That is not a leprechaun......its a little person!

In honor of it almost being St. Patty's Day, I will be writing in green.


So, I was getting R ready for school this morning and showed her the shirt that Linds had put out for her to wear. It was green and had a little girl on the front. R always wants you to read any writing on the shirt to her before she puts it on. This shirt said something about being lucky. R then proceeds to say, "I got Lucky at my house". Now, to the uninformed observer, this would call for a serious intervention! For those who understand that our dog is named Lucky, this does not sound as disturbing.

So here is a St. Patty's Day challenge for everyone. If you are out shopping on Saturday and the person at the store asks if they can help you, respond with; "Yes, I am looking for me pot of gold!"

Believe, Achieve....and then Aleive

This was a fun, challenging, and rewarding weekend for me and Linds and as you may tell from the title, some soreness as well. This was my second year doing the Azalea Triathlon and the first year for Linds. Going into Saturday I was very excited and a little nervous as I had not trained as hard as I knew that I could have. That being said, I had a great day. I finished 1 minute faster than last year. My total time was 1:13:24.

Linds did amazing! She went into this challenge with an open mind and a determination that she was going to do her best and finish. From her first stroke at the swim start to the finish of the run, she had a smile on her face. A big congrats to Ben as well who did phenomenal and made everyone look like they were racing in slow motion! The participants ranged in age from 10 to 79!!

Other than gym class, the first time that I competed athletically was in 2011. I was 30 and this was a New Year's Day 5k that Linds and I did. I never saw myself as someone that was good enough athletically to be able to compete. Since that first 5k, I have taken small steps toward improving my times and technique in swimming, biking, and running. The physical rewards have been great, but the mental rewards have surprised me. This sport challenges ideas and limits that you have set for yourself. You soon realize that the walls you built in your mind are only the fears of the unknown.

I am looking forward to a few more triathlons this season that will test my training. Even in the current political landscape, I am proud to say that I am the 1%! I can say this because only 1% of the population have completed a triathlon.

I don't want to see your butt at the beach!

Yesterday, the Wrightsville Beach board of Aldermen voted 3-2 against a ban on smoking on the beach. The votes against the ban mentioned costs and public rights as their reasons. As mentioned by the Star News, there were many more public supporters of the ban than opponents.

I am all for it for two reasons. First, I don't want to smell it and I really don't want my child smelling it. For those that say the beach is big enough that it does not matter, have not been to the beach. The wind blows all the time! I can smell smoke from an easy 100 yards away. Second, the biggest form of litter on our beaches are cigarette butts. Why smokers are more likely to litter is beyond me, but it is true. I guess if they want to trash their lungs, might as well trash the planet as well! Think about it, how nice would it be to walk on the beach and not have to smell or step over cigarette butts?

The two opposing arguments to me do not hold up. It is too expensive? Really? Wrightsville Beach is famous for slapping you with a parking fine for being 1 minute over your meter. This is a big revenue generator for the town. Why not write tickets for anyone who is caught smoking on the beach? The beaches are already being patrolled anyway! The second argument on people's right to smoke. True, it is not illegal to smoke. However, you can't smoke it public restaurants, office buildings, government building or on their grounds, or many public parks. So, designate smoking areas at one of the beach accesses and keep a butt collector there.

Now, I am very much a individual rights person. I do not feel that the government should force people to wear helmets on bikes or motorcycles, not smoke, wear seat belts, or any other matter of personal choice that does not effect the welfare of others. If I get in an accident without a helmet, it is my own fault for not choosing to wear one. In addition, the insurance company should have the right not to pay a claim if they find that I was not wearing a helmet.

The public smoking debate however effects others. If you are smoking on the public beach and exposing others to second hand smoke, you are effecting my health. If you want to smoke at your house, go right ahead, I could care less. Smoke whatever you want, legal or not, just don't expose me to it.

The Art of Balance

Balance is something that I always seem to have a hard time with. On any given day, there are so many things that need to be done. There are also those things that I would like to do. Like most people, I am forced to chose between things as time and obligations prevent me from doing everything.

My biggest obstacle is the tv and the sofa. I love both of these! After a long day, I have a habit of turning on the tv and stretching out on the sofa. This has become such a habit, that I have certain shows that I watch every night of the week. Now, I go to bed relatively early, around 10pm most nights, but I still clock in a good 2 hours of tv after R goes to bed.

There is nothing wrong with relaxing and watching tv. However, I have a little more than one week from a race and I don't feel that I have done all that I wanted to do in practice. When I look back over the last week, my average daily workout has lasted 30 minutes. Compared to 2 hours of tv, that looks pathetic.

I like to justify this by saying that this is the time that Linds and I have to ourselves to connect. The reality is that most of the time we are in our own worlds. Linds will be catching up on school work, returning e-mails, and doing the never ending laundry. I will be playing on the internet, cleaning up from dinner, getting ready for the next day,and drinking chocolate milk. We are talking about our days during all of this, but not exclusively as other things also need to be done.

I have a love/hate relationship with schedules, but I think that for me to improve my balance, this is needed and overdue. I am not going to give up my tv, my time with Linds and the monkey, my exercise time, or the back log of household duties, but I need to stick to a plan where all of things get done with an appropriate amount of balance.

"It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about? "
Henry David Thoreau