keys...check, lunch...check, coffee...check, morale...I knew I forgot something.

Office morale is by far more important than anything else. Morale can unite, uplift, and rally. An office that can rally their employees together can accomplish anything. However, an office than lacks morale, will go nowhere.



There was a great book by Yvon Chouinard called "Let My People Go Surfing". Yvon is the founder of Patagonia. Yvon is able to provide a work environment that allows his employees to love to go to work. They believe in the company and the direction that it is taking. As a company grows larger, this becomes harder, but also becomes even more essential. If your employees are not excited to come to work, then they will never produce at their potential. Only a blind and deaf manager cannot gauge office morale. Only a manager that is in CYA mode doesn't care about morale. Morale cannot be manufactured. Unfortunately too many managers try to increase morale with games, contest, or catered lunches. These are band-aids on a gunshot. They are a temporary fix to a much bigger issue.

Beatrice the Bonsai

Office spaces are very plain. Tan, grey, and white cover most surfaces. In my prior office I had a 4' tall ficus tree. This tree was tastefully decorated with Christmas lights and a fake parrot.

On the desk in front of mine, there is currently an 80% dead bonsai named Beatrice. This bonsai once was full of life, however the pressures of office life has taken its toll. Beatrice's owner is optimistic of her return to glory.

Just like your classroom in elementary school, every office should have a mascot or office pet. For no other reason than to provide a needed distraction when you are getting ready to lose it. Now in order not to kill all morale, there are a few mascots that you should stay away from such as; a pinata of your manager (Unless it is filled with very good candy) or Pinocchio (We have no need for another corporate puppet).

So, go be creative.

"Looking for answer to questions that bothered him so"

These words I'm sure are familiar to many of you. These are from the Jimmy Buffett song "He went to Paris". Jimmy himself describes this song as being about keeping your senses when the whole world has gone crazy. This has rung true for me and this concept is reinforced everyday in an office setting.

In Corporate America, there is always the next best idea or way of doing things. Not that the way that you just learned after numerous training classes and meetings wasn't good enough. Now that way is being replaced with an even better way. What defines this as a much better way? Simple, a consultant was brought in at a great expense to explain that this is a much better way. What I find convenient, is that the brain trust that develops these ideas never seems to ask the folks who use them; "Is this practical?"

These questions that bother us so, may not have good answers. But, as members of the cubicle nation we need to remember that this is all part of the ride. If you can't learn to roll with the punches and go through the day with a since of humor, your retirement will consist of a padded room and a handful of medications.

So the challenge is this: The next time you are sitting in a meeting with the next best thing being discussed, look around the room, up to the ceiling, and around on the floor. When someone finally gets curious as to what you are looking for, say; "I have seem to have lost the point of this meeting."

Pirates of the Workplace

Pirates are alive and well in the workplace. Any extended time away from your desk is like Christmas morning for an office pirate. Pens, post-its, staples, and even food in the break room, they are all fair game. Open season for a pirate is when an employee leaves the company. Remember the movie Friday? After Debo gets knocked out, the guys from the neighborhood run up and steal the boots from his feet.

So, how do we protect ourselves from these pirates? Aside from locking up all of your stuff every time you leave your desk, there are not many options. But, we can have fun with this. Keep your best supplies on lock down, but leave a supply of pens and note pads in plain view. These items need to have ads for E.D. or bladder control medication on them. If someone has the nerve to take these, at least you will get a good laugh.

But remember, if you use these items for more than four hours, please seek immediate medical attention.

I will provide you with everything you will need...just don't ask me for anything

The world of finance has changed. Unless you have been in a bubble for the last year, you know that money and credit are not handed out to everyone with a pulse any longer. Financial institutions want to make sure that they are lending to "qualified" customers. Over the last few years most customers thought that a credit score was all they needed. This is a big reason why the country is in the situation that it is in today.



So why do customers get upset when they are asked for tax returns, account statements, etc? If someone is reluctant to provide documentation, I wonder what they are trying to hide? I guess this is the same concept as going through airport security. I know that I am not a terrorist. However, I have to take off my shoes just like everyone else. I am ok with this and customers seeking credit should be as well.



The bottom line is that if you are not willing to provide what is required, you have no business applying.

Let me be honest with you

As a sales person, I have used this phrase many times. Does this mean that for the entire conversation prior to this that we were lying? No, but it is an interesting choice of words.







In our society we are conditioned to be sceptical of anyone in sales. On the news at least once a week, there is a story of a person who was taken advantage of by a salesperson. So, do we use these words to gain trust with our customers and make our presentation more heartfelt? Sadly, yes. There are substitutes for many of the items that we buy. Pepsi for Coke, bank for bank, car dealership for car dealership. So what makes one sales person stand out from the competition. Honesty. No salesperson will win all of the time, but the honest salesperson will win consistently over a long period of time.







If only those in positions of authority took their reputations with employees as seriously. I am not suggesting that management should make all decisions based on if their employees will like them. That is not realistic or good business. However, it would be refreshing to believe what you are told without the standard BS.

A Penny for your thoughts...But you owe me a quarter if they're stupid

I talk to a lot of different people every day. These individuals are from all over the country and from all walks of life. Like most of you, I connect with some personalities better than others.



What amazes me is that no matter how old or how educated, there are those people that speak without thinking. I remember a conversation that I had with a man a few years ago. This man was requesting an unsecured personal loan. My first question was an obvious one. "What are you needing the money for?" Very politely the man responded, "Well, I need to pay my attorney before I can file my bankruptcy papers." Really? Yes.



So what can we do in these situations? I urge everyone to create their own "Wall of Shame". Keep a list of the best/worse quotes that you hear. Then at the end of the year have a office party, and rank these from bad to worse. This gives everyone something to laugh at other than their paycheck!