"Forget about the curveball Ricky, give him the heater."
This is one of the great lines from the movie Major League. Life can be like that sometimes. You plan, prepare, and try to anticipate the curves that will come. Then the fast, straight shot down the middle is the one that knocks you out.
Over the last few years I have grown a lot mentally and spiritually. I have always known what is important, but I now believe it, feel it, and have tried hard not to let the world convince me otherwise. To put it simply, I have joy! I still have moods, get frustrated, and loose my head at times, because I am human.
We have been challenged over the last two months. Linds and I were blessed by the birth of Aubrey in August. Just like Riley, I could not have wished for anything better. Unfortunately, Aubrey has a lot of colic, reflux, etc. that she is having to deal with. This adds to the stress of day to day life, but as with most things, "this too shall pass". I think the most frustrating part is the "noise". Too often people make the mistake of talking rather than listening. When this happens, they either try to relate what you are going through to them, discount the situation by saying it is temporary, or the worse is playing "one up". If I knew a way to block the noise, I don't think the stress would be as high.
It is amazing how hard you have to fight sometimes to keep your joy. Whether it is a fussy baby, more bills than income, trying to stay healthy, or even when someone you count on disappoints. However no matter how stacked the deck can feel, no one can steal my joy without me giving it to them. My joy is firmly rooting in the simple things. My wonderful wife, my amazing girls, the smile on Riley's face as she rode her bike without training wheels for the first time, and the peace I feel every time I stop and listen to what God is trying to tell me.
Everything else is just noise!
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ---e. e. cummings
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Friday, October 23, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Don't Blink
Don’t blink!
My little monkey is growing up. Riley started kindergarten this morning. She left the house with a smile that screamed of excitement. For me, it was a flood of emotions.
"You're beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl."
--Tim McGraw
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Unplugged (It is all the Yeti's fault)
How long has it been since you looked at your phone? For me was about 8:00pm last night. Riley and I were laughing at pictures of a Yeti, when the Yeti got mad. He then jumped from Riley's hand and landed on the floor, cracking my iphone screen as payback for laughing at him. I have to be honest. I was upset. I was very upset. After cooling down, Linds and I sat down to watch a movie and something felt off. My hands felt strange. You see, in the evening after Riley goes to sleep, Linds is either on her phone or computer, and I am on my phone. We are talking, but in a general state of zoning. I am either playing a game, reading an article, or mindlessly checking e-mail, the weather, or scrolling through old pictures.
When did I become addicted to my phone? I got my first Cingular cell phone in 2002 just before Linds and I got married. At that time, I think we had 500 minutes shared between us, no texting, no data, no gps, apps, touch screen, or e-mail. It was a phone, plain and simple. For some reason, over time this has morphed into a devise that if we had to choose, we would rather forget our underwear than forget our phone.
A few years ago, we cut the cord with our house phone. This was a great thing as we never used it, and the only people who would call it were surveys and marketers. In doing so, we became even more reliant on our cell phones.
One reason that I have given for always having my phone is that it keeps me connected. But is that really true? When sitting and waiting, without fail, I reach for my phone. It is a security blanket. It allows me to look occupied. Wouldn't I be more connected if I looked to my left or right and engaged with the person beside me?
The second, very common reason for always having your phone is for emergencies. I think this term has gotten overused. We should really say I have my phone for convenience. There are very few things that qualify as a true emergency. Remembering to run by the grocery store, or letting someone know you are stuck in traffic are not emergencies. If I only used my phone for emergencies, I would not be able to tell you the last time it was used.
Since we do not have a house phone, I know that I cannot be without a phone indefinitely. However, I do think that a fasting period without my phone would be a great way to break the addiction.
So remember, the next time you encounter a Yeti, hold on tightly to your phone and never laugh! It can end badly if you laugh at the Yeti!
When did I become addicted to my phone? I got my first Cingular cell phone in 2002 just before Linds and I got married. At that time, I think we had 500 minutes shared between us, no texting, no data, no gps, apps, touch screen, or e-mail. It was a phone, plain and simple. For some reason, over time this has morphed into a devise that if we had to choose, we would rather forget our underwear than forget our phone.
A few years ago, we cut the cord with our house phone. This was a great thing as we never used it, and the only people who would call it were surveys and marketers. In doing so, we became even more reliant on our cell phones.
One reason that I have given for always having my phone is that it keeps me connected. But is that really true? When sitting and waiting, without fail, I reach for my phone. It is a security blanket. It allows me to look occupied. Wouldn't I be more connected if I looked to my left or right and engaged with the person beside me?
The second, very common reason for always having your phone is for emergencies. I think this term has gotten overused. We should really say I have my phone for convenience. There are very few things that qualify as a true emergency. Remembering to run by the grocery store, or letting someone know you are stuck in traffic are not emergencies. If I only used my phone for emergencies, I would not be able to tell you the last time it was used.
Since we do not have a house phone, I know that I cannot be without a phone indefinitely. However, I do think that a fasting period without my phone would be a great way to break the addiction.
So remember, the next time you encounter a Yeti, hold on tightly to your phone and never laugh! It can end badly if you laugh at the Yeti!
Friday, May 8, 2015
The worst 4 letter word............Busy
Are you busy? So many people today are busy. They are going from one thing to another in a constant state of motion. They are working more hours every week, sleeping less, and filing their remaining hours with sports, committees, parties, e-mail, texting, TV, the internet, etc. The list could continue forever.
At what point does being busy, transition from an opportunity for personal growth and the ability to positively impact others, to a negative impact on one's mood, level of stress, their ability to renew, and their personal relationships?
Try to sit down for 5 minutes with no distractions. Turn off your phone, the TV, the radio. Close your door and just sit. ..........................How long could you do this without looking at the clock, the pile of work that needs to be addressed, or the mental list that you started making? I am guessing you did not make it to 5 minutes. If you did, Great!!
The clutter and stuff in our lives keeps us busy. We fill our lives with possessions, e-mail, apps on our phones, TV, this meeting and that committee, and all the while dream of the moment that we have a few minutes (5 minutes) of quiet.
I would guess that if you were to ask any group of people if they would like to have 30 minutes more everyday to spend just playing with their kids or connecting with their spouse or significant other, they would all say yes. So why don't they? Say NO. Say no to your phone, to the mindless shows on TV, to the shopping trips that fill our closets with more, to the weeks packed full of nights working late, and to the time living up to other's expectations.
Take your shoes off and pick up a book, go for a walk, play a game with your kids and breath in the peace and simplicity of being.
At what point does being busy, transition from an opportunity for personal growth and the ability to positively impact others, to a negative impact on one's mood, level of stress, their ability to renew, and their personal relationships?
Try to sit down for 5 minutes with no distractions. Turn off your phone, the TV, the radio. Close your door and just sit. ..........................How long could you do this without looking at the clock, the pile of work that needs to be addressed, or the mental list that you started making? I am guessing you did not make it to 5 minutes. If you did, Great!!
The clutter and stuff in our lives keeps us busy. We fill our lives with possessions, e-mail, apps on our phones, TV, this meeting and that committee, and all the while dream of the moment that we have a few minutes (5 minutes) of quiet.
I would guess that if you were to ask any group of people if they would like to have 30 minutes more everyday to spend just playing with their kids or connecting with their spouse or significant other, they would all say yes. So why don't they? Say NO. Say no to your phone, to the mindless shows on TV, to the shopping trips that fill our closets with more, to the weeks packed full of nights working late, and to the time living up to other's expectations.
Take your shoes off and pick up a book, go for a walk, play a game with your kids and breath in the peace and simplicity of being.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Can you hear that song in my head?
I always have a song in my head. I am either humming it,
singing it, or bobbing my head to it. Almost everyday, I walk into work singing
something. I am thankful that I have a diverse taste in music, as the song is
always different. This morning It was The Who. Yesterday, it was Alan Jackson.
Monday, I believe it was Carrot Car (This is a Riley original). I find that on
the days when I have a song in my head, my day has a rhythm. I tend to start and move through my
day with a smile when I have this rhythm.
In writing this, I got to thinking. I am not a very serious person.
Big surprise, right? Since you can find anything on Google, I found a 8
question quiz on “how serious are you?”. When I clicked results, here is what
came back:
****************************************
♥Goof♥
You're a total goof! You laugh at everything and you make
the best out of bad situations by cracking a joke. Barely anything is ever
serious. And you probably don't get mad too much. You just enjoy making people
laugh.
***********************************
HA! This is right on point. If you are interested, here is
the link to the quiz.
Now that I have come to grips with the fact that I am not
serious, I will go back to singing the current song in my head. “I’m in a carrot
carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
OH YEA!”
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
"Daddy, is Jublia right for me?...........But how do you know? You are not my doctor."
BIGGGGGG STRETCHHHHHHHHH......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH It feels good to be back. I have not blogged since the last time.
Life has been good.
We have a new baby due in August, Riley starts kindergarten in July, and the weather is warming up, which means beach time is almost here. Life is full and satisfying.
It has been about 2 years since we started to live more simply. Like any change in life, it has been eye opening and sometimes challenging. When you begin the process of pairing down, there is this sense of fear and anxiety. What if I need this in the future? What if I get rid of this and "later" really miss having it, but I can't replace it? The funny part is that none of these fears have come true. Life is happier, less stressful, and more satisfying with less stuff. We are still continuing to reduce slowly and being trying to be more intentional about what we purchase. We completed Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University this spring, and are currently going through a weekly class on spiritual parenting. Both of these classes have allowed Linds and I to further strengthen our connection and communication with each other.
We have also started to make an effort to only have the TV on if there is a specific show we want to watch. If you are like us, too often the TV would be turned on for the news. But, then it would remain on through 2,3,or 4 programs that we did not care about. We would half watch while cooking, doing homework, talking, etc. Unfortunately, if we are honest, multi tasking is the art of doing multiple things in a unfocused mediocre way. We are not giving our full attention to the one thing that is really important.
Last night, the TV was on, and during a commercial Riley says, "Daddy, is Jublia right for me?" "What? No", I respond being a bit confused by the question. "But how do you know? you are not my doctor". Then I realize that a drug commercial for toenail fungus was on TV! Granted, it was hilarious, but this confirmed the decision that less TV will be a good thing!
Life has been good.
We have a new baby due in August, Riley starts kindergarten in July, and the weather is warming up, which means beach time is almost here. Life is full and satisfying.
It has been about 2 years since we started to live more simply. Like any change in life, it has been eye opening and sometimes challenging. When you begin the process of pairing down, there is this sense of fear and anxiety. What if I need this in the future? What if I get rid of this and "later" really miss having it, but I can't replace it? The funny part is that none of these fears have come true. Life is happier, less stressful, and more satisfying with less stuff. We are still continuing to reduce slowly and being trying to be more intentional about what we purchase. We completed Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University this spring, and are currently going through a weekly class on spiritual parenting. Both of these classes have allowed Linds and I to further strengthen our connection and communication with each other.
We have also started to make an effort to only have the TV on if there is a specific show we want to watch. If you are like us, too often the TV would be turned on for the news. But, then it would remain on through 2,3,or 4 programs that we did not care about. We would half watch while cooking, doing homework, talking, etc. Unfortunately, if we are honest, multi tasking is the art of doing multiple things in a unfocused mediocre way. We are not giving our full attention to the one thing that is really important.
Last night, the TV was on, and during a commercial Riley says, "Daddy, is Jublia right for me?" "What? No", I respond being a bit confused by the question. "But how do you know? you are not my doctor". Then I realize that a drug commercial for toenail fungus was on TV! Granted, it was hilarious, but this confirmed the decision that less TV will be a good thing!
Saturday, June 28, 2014
There are no words
It has been awhile since I have posted. Life has been busy as always. The days blur into weeks and then months.
Since Ironman in January, I have found it hard to muster the motivation to wake up early to workout. In the evenings, the sofa and a cold beer have replaced the bike and my running shoes as a daily ritual. After accomplishing my goal and climbing the mountain, you forget that beyond the peak is a valley just waiting to steal your drive.
Over the last two months, everyday I say to myself, "today is the day to start fresh." Unfortunately, my fresh start is still waiting to happen, but not anymore.
Have you ever felt so fired up that you could barely sit still? That is how I feel right now. I have a friend that I respect and admire. No matter the day or the situation, she always has a smile on her face. She always asks how I am doing and wanting to know what Riley and Linds are up to. She is like this to everyone I see her interact with. She is special and a blessing to everyone that she touches.
Without going into detail out of respect for her privacy, her family has experienced a tragedy beyond my understanding. After learning of this, my heart broke. I am not effected by this personally, but when I look at Linds and Riley, I felt like I needed to do something.
I am signing up for the Beach 2 Battleship half ironman which will be October 25th. I was on the fence about another race this year, but not anymore. I will be racing and raising money for the Carousel Center. The Carousel Center is a non profit organization whose mission is to provide a child friendly environment for abused and neglected children and to support child abuse prevention efforts in Southeastern North Carolina. My goal is simply this, to raise as much as I can for this great organization. When I am feeling sore, tired, or lazy, I know that there are those that have endured far greater that I can imagine.
I hope that whoever reads this will help me spread the word so that we can be Jesus for those who need him most.
Please check back as I will update you on how you can donate.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
My Ironman Journey
I am writing this with my left leg elevated and swollen with snow on the way. To think, only 3 days ago at this time I was on my bike riding A1A in the Florida Keys. As the song says, "Sunny and 75". At 12:01am New Year's Day 2013, our journey to Bone Island Full Ironman Triathlon started. I say "our" journey because as the year and training progressed, you realize how much your entire family is committed. The months of training, the early mornings at the pool while Linds got Riley ready by herself, the 4+ hours Saturday and Sunday workouts, the postponing of house projects, the "I'm sorry Riley, Daddy is too sore to carry you", and the falling asleep at 9pm effects the whole family.
I am not fast. I will never qualify for a Kona slot with the top age-groupers. I race to challenge myself, for the community, and for the love of triathlon. It is hard to describe to some. The idea that racing for hours sounds crazy to most. A few years ago, it sounded crazy to me too.
Race morning, standing on a palm tree lined white sand beach watching the sun break over the ocean was emotional. What a blessing to be standing here! God is good! One of the athletes lead the invocation, then the national anthem played. Over the noise of the generator, Eminem is pumping from the speakers, "if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted. one moment would you capture it or just let it slip?" The air horn blasted and we were off. The swim was 2.4 miles in the ocean. The water was a crisp 68 degrees, but was crystal clear. This was my first time swimming in water that cold and it took a good 30 minutes before my breathing got into a rhythm. Once I got comfortable in the temperature it was just a matter of swimming to the finish. I am more of a sea turtle than a dolphin when it comes to swimming. Slow and steady, but I always get there. I exited the water at the end of Higgs Beach Pier, removed the wetsuit, and put on my bike gear. The bike course was 112 miles starting with a few miles to get off the island of Key West and then two loops down A1A to Middle Torch Key, then back into Key West. The temperature was perfect. There was a headwind the way out on both loops of the ride, but I was able to hold a steady pace. The bike course was open to traffic, which was heavy, and the road surface was pretty rough in sections. I saw several riders changing flats. Thankfully on this day, my ride was uneventful.
Back in Key West, the final leg was a 3 1/2 loop run course for 26.2 miles. The first loop was not too bad. I felt good and my pace was decent. By lap 2, my legs started to give out. My pace slowed, the bottoms of my feet were blistered, and my shins were throbbing. I never thought about not finishing, however my goal quickly shifted to putting one foot in front of the other. That is when I heard a car horn and saw Linds yelling out the window. "You got this, I love you!". This was a push right when I needed it. 7 miles later with 3 miles to go, Linds and Forest were on the side of the run course waiting for me. They "ran" with me the last 3 miles. As the finish line came into view, I burned the last bit of energy I had to run as fast as I could across the finish line.
The folks at Setup Events put on a great race. I would recommend this race to everyone. The volunteers were great, the aid stations were good and well stocked, the police were super nice, and the locals were very supportive.
Reflecting on this journey, I learned a lot. I learned what I am capable of and that anything is possible. I learned that I am blessed with the best support system in the world! The outpouring of support has been overwhelming. Hearing that people have been inspired by my journey is exciting. So many of us work desk jobs and finding endurance racings has provided me more energy, a way to release stress, and a reason to be active. I am looking forward to continue racing and challenging myself in triathlons and endurance events. If I never get 1st in my age group or qualify for Kona, I will not be disappointed. There may always be someone in front of me, but as long as I know I left everything I had on the course, I was successful.
I am not fast. I will never qualify for a Kona slot with the top age-groupers. I race to challenge myself, for the community, and for the love of triathlon. It is hard to describe to some. The idea that racing for hours sounds crazy to most. A few years ago, it sounded crazy to me too.
Race morning, standing on a palm tree lined white sand beach watching the sun break over the ocean was emotional. What a blessing to be standing here! God is good! One of the athletes lead the invocation, then the national anthem played. Over the noise of the generator, Eminem is pumping from the speakers, "if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted. one moment would you capture it or just let it slip?" The air horn blasted and we were off. The swim was 2.4 miles in the ocean. The water was a crisp 68 degrees, but was crystal clear. This was my first time swimming in water that cold and it took a good 30 minutes before my breathing got into a rhythm. Once I got comfortable in the temperature it was just a matter of swimming to the finish. I am more of a sea turtle than a dolphin when it comes to swimming. Slow and steady, but I always get there. I exited the water at the end of Higgs Beach Pier, removed the wetsuit, and put on my bike gear. The bike course was 112 miles starting with a few miles to get off the island of Key West and then two loops down A1A to Middle Torch Key, then back into Key West. The temperature was perfect. There was a headwind the way out on both loops of the ride, but I was able to hold a steady pace. The bike course was open to traffic, which was heavy, and the road surface was pretty rough in sections. I saw several riders changing flats. Thankfully on this day, my ride was uneventful.
Back in Key West, the final leg was a 3 1/2 loop run course for 26.2 miles. The first loop was not too bad. I felt good and my pace was decent. By lap 2, my legs started to give out. My pace slowed, the bottoms of my feet were blistered, and my shins were throbbing. I never thought about not finishing, however my goal quickly shifted to putting one foot in front of the other. That is when I heard a car horn and saw Linds yelling out the window. "You got this, I love you!". This was a push right when I needed it. 7 miles later with 3 miles to go, Linds and Forest were on the side of the run course waiting for me. They "ran" with me the last 3 miles. As the finish line came into view, I burned the last bit of energy I had to run as fast as I could across the finish line.
The folks at Setup Events put on a great race. I would recommend this race to everyone. The volunteers were great, the aid stations were good and well stocked, the police were super nice, and the locals were very supportive.
Reflecting on this journey, I learned a lot. I learned what I am capable of and that anything is possible. I learned that I am blessed with the best support system in the world! The outpouring of support has been overwhelming. Hearing that people have been inspired by my journey is exciting. So many of us work desk jobs and finding endurance racings has provided me more energy, a way to release stress, and a reason to be active. I am looking forward to continue racing and challenging myself in triathlons and endurance events. If I never get 1st in my age group or qualify for Kona, I will not be disappointed. There may always be someone in front of me, but as long as I know I left everything I had on the course, I was successful.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
My better half
I won the lottery! My wife is equal to those powerball winning stats. She is without question 1 in 175 million!
I decided last January that in 12 months, I was going to complete my first Ironman. I don’t think the time commitment sunk in until October as I started focusing on longer training sessions. During the 12 weeks prior to the race I have and will be swimming, biking, and running more than I ever have before. I say that, not to brag but to set the stage. Linds and I have always shared the parenting and household workload. As my morning swims are getting longer, I am not able to get home before Linds and the monkey leave for school. I was cutting my swim short a few weeks to get home on time, before Linds told me “finish your workout, its ok”. This might seem small to some, but it is huge for me. I get R up, make her breakfast, and make sure she brushes her teeth each morning while Linds gets ready. We have this done to a science. The alarm would go off (for the 15th time) at 6am. By 6:35am Linds and R are out the door, dressed, showered, and fed. Now 3 mornings a weeks Linds is getting herself and R ready and still having to leave at the same time.
On Wednesday nights, Linds teaches a running group at church which does not get us home until around 8pm. Last night, like so many before, Linds started cooking a great meal at 8pm after working a full day and leading the group! On Tuesday night, Linds was cleaning tables at McDonald’s for the PTA, and a few Saturday’s ago she volunteered to sit in a chair for 15 minutes and get pied in the face to help her school raise money. I have never done a load of laundry in 16 years because of Linds!
Linds is both my anchor as well as the wind in my sails. She always knows exactly when to push and went to reel me back in. There is no way I would be where I am without her.
When I cross the finish line in January, it will be because of her support and encouragement.
I love you Linds!
I decided last January that in 12 months, I was going to complete my first Ironman. I don’t think the time commitment sunk in until October as I started focusing on longer training sessions. During the 12 weeks prior to the race I have and will be swimming, biking, and running more than I ever have before. I say that, not to brag but to set the stage. Linds and I have always shared the parenting and household workload. As my morning swims are getting longer, I am not able to get home before Linds and the monkey leave for school. I was cutting my swim short a few weeks to get home on time, before Linds told me “finish your workout, its ok”. This might seem small to some, but it is huge for me. I get R up, make her breakfast, and make sure she brushes her teeth each morning while Linds gets ready. We have this done to a science. The alarm would go off (for the 15th time) at 6am. By 6:35am Linds and R are out the door, dressed, showered, and fed. Now 3 mornings a weeks Linds is getting herself and R ready and still having to leave at the same time.
On Wednesday nights, Linds teaches a running group at church which does not get us home until around 8pm. Last night, like so many before, Linds started cooking a great meal at 8pm after working a full day and leading the group! On Tuesday night, Linds was cleaning tables at McDonald’s for the PTA, and a few Saturday’s ago she volunteered to sit in a chair for 15 minutes and get pied in the face to help her school raise money. I have never done a load of laundry in 16 years because of Linds!
Linds is both my anchor as well as the wind in my sails. She always knows exactly when to push and went to reel me back in. There is no way I would be where I am without her.
When I cross the finish line in January, it will be because of her support and encouragement.
I love you Linds!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Cleaning out, not up
If your house was on fire and you had less than 5 minutes, what would you take? Would you be able to deal with losing everything else?
“The things you used to own, now they own you.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
This is a great quote. Over the last month Linds and I have been cleaning out. We are on the verge of the biggest yard sale in history. What happens after the sale? Everything that is left goes to Goodwill. Nothing goes back into the house.
I started asking the question of; “why do we hold on to stuff?” For example, how many cups do you have in your kitchen cabinets? Now ask yourself, have you ever had that many people at your house at one time when you did not use disposable cups? If your answer is no, then why are you keeping them? It is easy to get overwhelmed and stressed with always having to clean the house. But, in reality we are mostly “organizing” not scrubbing. I read on a blog that “organizing is nothing more than managed hoarding”. Since we cleaned out, it takes far less time to really clean, which means less time and stress.
Too often we hold on to things as a way to have a tangible memory. I have a lot of great memories. I remember helping my grandpa build a tree house in our back yard. I remember learning to ride a bike and getting my drivers license. I remember boarding up a house on Sunset Beach during a hurricane and sitting with Linds after surgery watching 90210. When the memories fade as I know they will, I will still know I had a great life. I don’t need a program from my Eagle ceremony to remind me of my scouting days. I have the memory of Dad and I taking turns pumping up an air mattress for what seemed like forever.
Now, I am not saying that you should sell everything you own and go live in the woods (although the thought has crossed my mind). I am simply saying that letting go of stuff does not mean that you are letting go of the memories too. Let your possessions add value to your life, not define and control you.
“The things you used to own, now they own you.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
This is a great quote. Over the last month Linds and I have been cleaning out. We are on the verge of the biggest yard sale in history. What happens after the sale? Everything that is left goes to Goodwill. Nothing goes back into the house.
I started asking the question of; “why do we hold on to stuff?” For example, how many cups do you have in your kitchen cabinets? Now ask yourself, have you ever had that many people at your house at one time when you did not use disposable cups? If your answer is no, then why are you keeping them? It is easy to get overwhelmed and stressed with always having to clean the house. But, in reality we are mostly “organizing” not scrubbing. I read on a blog that “organizing is nothing more than managed hoarding”. Since we cleaned out, it takes far less time to really clean, which means less time and stress.
Too often we hold on to things as a way to have a tangible memory. I have a lot of great memories. I remember helping my grandpa build a tree house in our back yard. I remember learning to ride a bike and getting my drivers license. I remember boarding up a house on Sunset Beach during a hurricane and sitting with Linds after surgery watching 90210. When the memories fade as I know they will, I will still know I had a great life. I don’t need a program from my Eagle ceremony to remind me of my scouting days. I have the memory of Dad and I taking turns pumping up an air mattress for what seemed like forever.
Now, I am not saying that you should sell everything you own and go live in the woods (although the thought has crossed my mind). I am simply saying that letting go of stuff does not mean that you are letting go of the memories too. Let your possessions add value to your life, not define and control you.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Being thorough is fine, but I was talking about Thoreau
It has been exactly 6 months since my last real post. A lot has happened during that time.
Most recently Linds and I have started to embrace the ideas of minimalists. We are not planning on moving into the woods and living with the wildlife, so no need to worry. I look around the house and see all of the “stuff” and think “Why do I need this?”. I can admit that many purchases I have made over the years have not been out of need or function, but simply out of the desire to impress myself or others. When I started to take stock of a lot of this “stuff”, I was surprised at the emotion that is attached to some of these things. Why should getting rid of a movie, a game, or whatever be so hard? Too often we attach value to something because it reminds us of a good memory. I have wonderful memories and pictures of the trip Linds and I went on to Europe after high school. But why does that make me hold on to a half used bottle of cologne from France (that does not smell that good anyway)? I am learning and accepting that the value added to my life is not the stuff but the experiences.
The plan is to reduce the clutter down to the “stuff” that we use, value, and/or serves a purpose. The second and more challenging part will be to keep the “stuff” to a minimum.
I am hoping that with the house simplified, the other parts of our lives will be easier to manage. It always seems to be easier to stick to a budget, a workout/training plan, or a meal plan when you come home and it is clean and neat.
This weekend will be a yard sale, trip to the dump and goodwill, and then hopefully some re-focusing on the budget, training, and cooking plans.
With focus being the goal, I think that ……………..Oh look a squirrel!
Most recently Linds and I have started to embrace the ideas of minimalists. We are not planning on moving into the woods and living with the wildlife, so no need to worry. I look around the house and see all of the “stuff” and think “Why do I need this?”. I can admit that many purchases I have made over the years have not been out of need or function, but simply out of the desire to impress myself or others. When I started to take stock of a lot of this “stuff”, I was surprised at the emotion that is attached to some of these things. Why should getting rid of a movie, a game, or whatever be so hard? Too often we attach value to something because it reminds us of a good memory. I have wonderful memories and pictures of the trip Linds and I went on to Europe after high school. But why does that make me hold on to a half used bottle of cologne from France (that does not smell that good anyway)? I am learning and accepting that the value added to my life is not the stuff but the experiences.
The plan is to reduce the clutter down to the “stuff” that we use, value, and/or serves a purpose. The second and more challenging part will be to keep the “stuff” to a minimum.
I am hoping that with the house simplified, the other parts of our lives will be easier to manage. It always seems to be easier to stick to a budget, a workout/training plan, or a meal plan when you come home and it is clean and neat.
This weekend will be a yard sale, trip to the dump and goodwill, and then hopefully some re-focusing on the budget, training, and cooking plans.
With focus being the goal, I think that ……………..Oh look a squirrel!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
My Truck kept my key and my wife took my money....No wait, reverse that!
“Sometimes grace comes as a punch in the face”-Mary Elder
This past week has been full of excitement for Lindsey’s marathon and our upcoming Disney trip. I let R watch the Disney promo DVD that we got in the mail last year. R must have watched it 10 times on Sunday! She is pumped. The last few days have also been filled with getting back into some routines that were let go during the holiday season. Workouts, grocery shopping, and meal planning have are getting back on track. I still have not made it back in the pool, but I know that will be coming.
Yesterday, R stated that she was big enough to ride all of the rides at Disney so we decided to test her theory. She is not quite tall enough to make it on all the rides, but she has grown about 2 inches since August! Linds had to get her some new pants to make sure she was not sporting high waters.
In the prep for our trip, I dropped the truck off for scheduled maintenance on Monday Morning. Little did I know that based on my mileage and wear, I needed not only an oil change and tire rotation, but a timing belt, water pump, brake pads, routers, and a battery! $1,675 later I am contemplating selling a kidney on e-bay. This morning got going with another speed bump. I got in my truck this morning to realize that my key was on Lindsey’s key ring since she picked up the truck yesterday! Oh Joy. So, Lindsey being very sweet, drove all the way across town after the school day for her had started to return my key.
Now, this is certainly a test in patience and resilience. It would be very easy to become depressed, but as a VanWilder says: “its like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it does not get you anywhere.” So I am taking this as a wakeup call that I need to tweek my organization and budgeting.
This past week has been full of excitement for Lindsey’s marathon and our upcoming Disney trip. I let R watch the Disney promo DVD that we got in the mail last year. R must have watched it 10 times on Sunday! She is pumped. The last few days have also been filled with getting back into some routines that were let go during the holiday season. Workouts, grocery shopping, and meal planning have are getting back on track. I still have not made it back in the pool, but I know that will be coming.
Yesterday, R stated that she was big enough to ride all of the rides at Disney so we decided to test her theory. She is not quite tall enough to make it on all the rides, but she has grown about 2 inches since August! Linds had to get her some new pants to make sure she was not sporting high waters.
In the prep for our trip, I dropped the truck off for scheduled maintenance on Monday Morning. Little did I know that based on my mileage and wear, I needed not only an oil change and tire rotation, but a timing belt, water pump, brake pads, routers, and a battery! $1,675 later I am contemplating selling a kidney on e-bay. This morning got going with another speed bump. I got in my truck this morning to realize that my key was on Lindsey’s key ring since she picked up the truck yesterday! Oh Joy. So, Lindsey being very sweet, drove all the way across town after the school day for her had started to return my key.
Now, this is certainly a test in patience and resilience. It would be very easy to become depressed, but as a VanWilder says: “its like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it does not get you anywhere.” So I am taking this as a wakeup call that I need to tweek my organization and budgeting.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy New Year
Happy New Year!
I have a feeling that this is going to be my best year! 13 has always been a good number for me. The year has already started out very exciting. I signed up this morning for the Bone Island ironman distance triathlon on January 4th 2014. This will be my first ironman distance triathlon, which consists of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and a 26.2 mile marathon.
While Bone Island taking my training into the end of the year for 2013, Linds is kicking off 2013 with her own huge goal. In 12 days Linds will be running the Disney Marathon! This will be her first full marathon and I am so incredibly proud and excited.
As many people do on New Year's Day we did a lot up cleaning up and refreshing around the house to start the year off on the best foot. As part of this, we took apart R's toddler bed and set up her first double bed! The monitor is gone, as is the diaper genie. In a way it is sad that she is growing up so fast, but it is also very exciting. R is so happy. I will also be getting back on the training wagon this evening with an easy paced run. I have been slack for the last two months since Beach-2-Battleship, but it is time to get moving again. For one, the spring will be here before I know it. Second, my pants are starting to get a little too tight!
So, for 2013 my goals are to keep life simple, be more consistent with my workouts, and enjoy everyday. 2013 will be better that good!
I have a feeling that this is going to be my best year! 13 has always been a good number for me. The year has already started out very exciting. I signed up this morning for the Bone Island ironman distance triathlon on January 4th 2014. This will be my first ironman distance triathlon, which consists of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and a 26.2 mile marathon.
While Bone Island taking my training into the end of the year for 2013, Linds is kicking off 2013 with her own huge goal. In 12 days Linds will be running the Disney Marathon! This will be her first full marathon and I am so incredibly proud and excited.
As many people do on New Year's Day we did a lot up cleaning up and refreshing around the house to start the year off on the best foot. As part of this, we took apart R's toddler bed and set up her first double bed! The monitor is gone, as is the diaper genie. In a way it is sad that she is growing up so fast, but it is also very exciting. R is so happy. I will also be getting back on the training wagon this evening with an easy paced run. I have been slack for the last two months since Beach-2-Battleship, but it is time to get moving again. For one, the spring will be here before I know it. Second, my pants are starting to get a little too tight!
So, for 2013 my goals are to keep life simple, be more consistent with my workouts, and enjoy everyday. 2013 will be better that good!
Monday, December 31, 2012
New Year's Eve
2013, I am ready!! Why? Because it is 2013 of course.
I am in the process of refreshing the blog for 2013. Starting tomorrow, one of my goals is to keep the blog updated on a weekly basis.
See you next year!
I am in the process of refreshing the blog for 2013. Starting tomorrow, one of my goals is to keep the blog updated on a weekly basis.
See you next year!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Marlin vs. Dory
I love Finding Nemo. This is one of my new favorite movies! I love the theme of letting go of those fears that hold you back.
We are on the countdown to the last and the biggest race of the year! Beach 2 Battleship is next Saturday. This will be a big milestone race for me and a great way to end the season. Beach 2 Battleship consists of a 1.2 mile swim in the intercostal waterway, a 56 mile bike ride, and a 13.1 mile run. This is known as a “half Ironman” distance race. It is hard to believe that two years ago, my endurance could only take me 25 yards in the pool, around 5 miles on a bike, and about a ½ mile running.
The strange thing that I have learned in my journey to this point is that much of my obstacles are not my endurance, my knees, the discomfort of 3 hours + on a bike, or the navigating in open water. My biggest obstacles are in my head. Over the last two years of triathlons, I have been forced to face one of my greatest fears, water. Growing up, we went to the community pool a few times each summer. I also took swim lessons for several years during the summer in my elementary schools years. I never really gained a comfort or confidence in the water during these experiences. My mom was also out of school during the summers, so as expected she was the one who was at the pool with me. The problem was that my mom has the swimming confidence of a rock! I say swimming confidence and not skill, because I can’t say I have ever seen my mom try to swim. Every so often, she has gotten in the water, but that is about it. I remember the stories that she almost did not graduate college due to having to pass a swim test. I also remember the confidence inspiring phrase; “don’t go too far, because I can’t save you.” To say that I have a healthy fear of the water may be too soft.
I don’t remember swimming again until the summer after 6th grade at Boy Scout camp. During the first few hours you are there, you have to take a swim test to determine your level. In my defense, the water felt sub-zero. In reality it was probably in the low 70s. The test was to jump in the lake, swim down and back beside the dock twice. I jumped in and almost made it down once before having to be pulled out. The next time I tried to swim…..the next summer at a different Boy Scout Camp. That time, I think fear and adrenaline got me to the end.
Flash forward to freshman year at UNCW. We had about 2 weeks of swimming in PE 101 on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays. This was 6, 1 hour classes. I think I made it to 4 of these and suffered my way through. Four years later, I was in the water again, but this time it was in Mexico snorkeling. I felt that I would be fine since I had a life jacket, but I still remember feeling nervous before I jumped in.
In summary, I would say my lifetime swimming distance prior to two years ago was less than 500 yards. Like many triathletes, my first experience with the sport was watching the Ironman World Championship on tv. I remember thinking how hard and how cool that looked. The one problem, I could not swim. Over the last two years, I have progressed from struggling to enjoying swimming. I am not fast. Compared to most triathletes, I am very slow. But, the speed will come over time. What has been strange is that no matter how many times I am in the water, I still get that voice in my head that thinks back to childhood that says “you are not good in the water”. I was to the point of almost quitting 1 hour before a race this season because of this voice. Thankfully, I did not quit and finished slow, but fine. This was a victory. The next race, the voice was still there, but a little softer because of my prior race success.
My hope is that I will find my confidence and the voice will disappear forever. I greatly enjoy this crazy sport of triathlon and dream of one day racing Ironman in Kona. But for now, in the words of Dory; “Just keep swimming”.
We are on the countdown to the last and the biggest race of the year! Beach 2 Battleship is next Saturday. This will be a big milestone race for me and a great way to end the season. Beach 2 Battleship consists of a 1.2 mile swim in the intercostal waterway, a 56 mile bike ride, and a 13.1 mile run. This is known as a “half Ironman” distance race. It is hard to believe that two years ago, my endurance could only take me 25 yards in the pool, around 5 miles on a bike, and about a ½ mile running.
The strange thing that I have learned in my journey to this point is that much of my obstacles are not my endurance, my knees, the discomfort of 3 hours + on a bike, or the navigating in open water. My biggest obstacles are in my head. Over the last two years of triathlons, I have been forced to face one of my greatest fears, water. Growing up, we went to the community pool a few times each summer. I also took swim lessons for several years during the summer in my elementary schools years. I never really gained a comfort or confidence in the water during these experiences. My mom was also out of school during the summers, so as expected she was the one who was at the pool with me. The problem was that my mom has the swimming confidence of a rock! I say swimming confidence and not skill, because I can’t say I have ever seen my mom try to swim. Every so often, she has gotten in the water, but that is about it. I remember the stories that she almost did not graduate college due to having to pass a swim test. I also remember the confidence inspiring phrase; “don’t go too far, because I can’t save you.” To say that I have a healthy fear of the water may be too soft.
I don’t remember swimming again until the summer after 6th grade at Boy Scout camp. During the first few hours you are there, you have to take a swim test to determine your level. In my defense, the water felt sub-zero. In reality it was probably in the low 70s. The test was to jump in the lake, swim down and back beside the dock twice. I jumped in and almost made it down once before having to be pulled out. The next time I tried to swim…..the next summer at a different Boy Scout Camp. That time, I think fear and adrenaline got me to the end.
Flash forward to freshman year at UNCW. We had about 2 weeks of swimming in PE 101 on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays. This was 6, 1 hour classes. I think I made it to 4 of these and suffered my way through. Four years later, I was in the water again, but this time it was in Mexico snorkeling. I felt that I would be fine since I had a life jacket, but I still remember feeling nervous before I jumped in.
In summary, I would say my lifetime swimming distance prior to two years ago was less than 500 yards. Like many triathletes, my first experience with the sport was watching the Ironman World Championship on tv. I remember thinking how hard and how cool that looked. The one problem, I could not swim. Over the last two years, I have progressed from struggling to enjoying swimming. I am not fast. Compared to most triathletes, I am very slow. But, the speed will come over time. What has been strange is that no matter how many times I am in the water, I still get that voice in my head that thinks back to childhood that says “you are not good in the water”. I was to the point of almost quitting 1 hour before a race this season because of this voice. Thankfully, I did not quit and finished slow, but fine. This was a victory. The next race, the voice was still there, but a little softer because of my prior race success.
My hope is that I will find my confidence and the voice will disappear forever. I greatly enjoy this crazy sport of triathlon and dream of one day racing Ironman in Kona. But for now, in the words of Dory; “Just keep swimming”.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
A Journey in Personal Finance: part 1
Debt. It is amazing how this one word can start conversations and debates that last forever. There are hundreds of books on the market on personal finance. How to budget, pay off debt, live debt-free, file bankruptcy, gain wealth, become a millionaire by working from home, and the list goes on and on. All of these books and systems are written by smart people. Some are financially educated, there are also the “learn from my mistakes” people, and there are the pure sales and marketing people. The ironic part for me is that all of these books and financial education cost money. So, this industry is making its money on exactly those that don’t have it to spend.
Debt has been around for centuries. But with technology, over the last 30 years in the United States debt has become an epidemic. The two sides of the fence both blame each other. The financial industry argues that personal responsibility should be the focus, where the consumers argue that deceptive lending practices and fees are the cause. As with many topics, there is truth on both sides in addition to false information.
I believe that personal debt is a lifestyle choice. We as people have the choice to go into debt to buy anything, a house, car, education, furniture, vacations, electronics, food, etc. Anything that you can thing of can be purchased on credit. The easy answer to staying out of debt is to only purchase that which you have the cash to pay for. But is that practical or even possible in the United States today?
In order to drive a car on the road as a teen driver in NC, you are required to pass a driver’s education course, a driving test, a sign test, a written test, and prove that you have liability insurance coverage in the event that you cause damage. In order to get a credit card, in some cases you simply need to be 18 years old and be able to sign your name. I like the personal responsibility argument, but I believe that the financial industry does not seem to understand or care that in order to claim personal responsibility, the person needs to have a fundamental understanding of the consequences of their actions.
I have a 3 year old and there are those times as a parent that I have to intervene in order for her to stay safe. If she is running in the driveway and gets too close to the road, I make sure to pull her back. I then try and explain that there are cars in the street and they could hurt her if she got hit. She will now say, “Daddy hold me. There are cars and if we get hit we will get a boo-boo and have to go to the hospital.” Simple, but she gets it. As consumers, why don’t we have the education to know that if we finance something we buy, that there is interest and fees, and interest rate increases if we are late on the payment?
According to jumpstart.org, currently there are only 4 states in the US that require at least one semester in personal finance in order to graduate. These are Utah, Missouri, Tennessee, and Virginia. There are several states that have personal finance worked into other areas or as electives, but there are still 26 states that have no requirement that personal finance is taught as part of the curriculum. Since financial education it not taught in more than half the country’s public schools, how do most people learn about personal finance? Unfortunately so often the case, it is by trail and error.
With no formal unbiased instruction, we as Americans are left to figure out personal finance on our own. Have you ever tried to learn a new sport, craft, or do-it-yourself project without someone to show you the right way to do it? Most of the time you end up developing bad habits or form, or have to complete repairs too early due to poor prep. Our personal finance is the same way. The difference is that a poor golf swing or drywall finishing technique may cost you a few extra hours of labor or strokes. A poor understanding of personal finance can lead to debt collectors, bankruptcy, not being able to retire, foreclosure, divorce, and too often depression and suicide.
The goal in writing this is to provide people with an understanding of how the system works for and against you, and how to live a more informed life. It would be ridiculous to assume that people will stop using credit all together as some famous financial personalities would have you do. The reason is that credit at its core can be good. Think of it as it relates to food. All of the diet fads that have you remove carbs, or fat, or sugar all claim big results. But, nobody ever has long term success because it takes all of these to maintain a healthy nutritional balance. Credit, as part of a healthy financial plan is good.
The first step in this journey is to understand that most people have a motive that does not involve helping you as a individual. If that was their only motivation, either you would not be able to afford their services, or they are doing this on a volunteer basis. The fact is that almost everyone giving out financial advise has someone to answer to. People are accountable to sponsors, producers, corporate quotas, commissions, and their own greed. They are happy to give you advise, but understand they know the hand that feeds them.
Teaching personal finance takes a two sided approach. We need to teach our children and youth about personal finance in order for them to develop good habits and a understanding of the system. In addition, those who already have experience with personal finance need to be educated on what they learned on their own so that bad habits can be corrected.
So, lets get started.
Personal finance at its core is debits (-) and credits (+). Debits being those things that you spend and credit being money you make. To win the game, your goal is to have your credits exceed your debits. The math is the easy part. The hard part is the psychology. When we get the “I wants” we too often find a way for the numbers to “work for us”. This is when we start loosing ground. Lets look at an example.
John starts his first job at Save-A-Lot in the management training program making $25,000 gross. He is single and has a roommate that he can split the rent with. John has no credit established as he does not have a credit card and his car is an older model that his parents bought him in high school. This is what John’s monthly financial statement looks like:
Gross Income: $2,083.33
Taxes: $624.99
Insurance: $150.00
401k $104.16
Net Income: $1,204.18
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$450.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $150.00
Savings: $180.00
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Entertainment $100.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $29.18
John has a good plan. He is starting to build a savings balance that will serve first as an emergency fund in the event that a large expense comes up or he loses his job. The fund should be 3-6 months worth of expenses. In John’s case his emergency fund needs to be between $3,522.54 and $6,7,045.08. How did I get this number? I used John’s net income of $1,204.18 subtracted his monthly savings and added back his health insurance. If John lost his job, he would still need basic insurance but he would not need to worry about putting money into savings.
Does John need credit? Answer: not yet. Some would say that this is a good time to establish credit with a small credit card. That way when it comes time for a newer car, John will have a good credit score and will be able to get a good rate. The reality is that we tend to buy much earlier than is needed.
The Trap:
John has a good job, is making money, and thinks; “you know, this car has a lot of miles on it and I do not have enough in savings for a big repair if that comes. And besides, the dealership is running some great year end deals with 72 month 0% financing. A new car would have a warranty, so if something went wrong, I would be covered.” So, off to the dealership John goes. The sales person is very nice and makes John feel great that he has a good job that will have an increasing salary since he will be management soon. The sale person shows John a few models and points out all the “new” features. John is amazed because his current car still has an 8 track and towels as seat covers. The salesman then explains that if John buys today that he can get the car with no money down. This is great! John has only been savings for 4 months so he would rather keep his savings of $720.00 in the bank. The finance officer has John fill in the credit application after John has already been drooling over the car for the last hour. The officer then explains that since John does not have any credit he will not qualify for the 0% financing. John is devastated. He has already texted his roommate bragging about his new ride and posted a picture on facebook. The financial officer explains that he can “help John out” and get him financing at for his new car for 72 months at $362 per month on the $19,000 price tag. The payment is a lot higher than John was thinking, but he is expecting a raise in 8 months and the new car gets better gas mileage so he will just cut some things back a little to make it work. So, John signs the paperwork and smiles on the way home with his new car. (I wonder if John noticed the 10.99% rate?)
John soon realizes that 30 mpg vs. his old 17 mpg car only makes a difference of $72 per month in gas. So, John has cut all savings from his budget and he is still $110 short. John decides since he was able to get a car, maybe he should mail in the credit card offer he got in the mail in order to fill the gap until his promotion. The credit card application is approved at 23% interest, and John decides to only put his gas cost on it.
As expected, John’s raise comes in 8 months. John’s salary has increased to $35,000 with his new title of Jr. Manager. John decides to evaluate his budget.
John’s monthly financial statement looks like:
Gross Income: $2,916.66
Taxes: $874.99
Insurance: $150.00
401k $145.83
Net Income: $1,745.84
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$450.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $80.00
Car: $362.00
Credit card $30.00 ($20 over the minimum)
Savings: $200.00
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Entertainment $200.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $128.84
John decided that it was time to restart his savings after draining it down to help cover expenses after buying the car. John’s balance sheet now looks like this:
Assets:
Car: $16,875 (800 miles per month for 8 months: 6,400 total miles)
Savings: $200.00 (after this months payment)
Total: $17,075
Debts:
Credit Card: $620 (making the minimum payment for the last 8 months, which only paid the interest a little of principal)
Car Loan: $17,450
Net worth: -$995
John is not happy, but he knows that things will start looking up now that he is paying more on the credit card balance. One week later, John gets some great news! His roommate got engaged and the bachelor weekend is going to be in Vegas! John quickly books his fly and hotel on the credit card because he can’t miss his roommate’s party. The credit card that had a limit of $2,000 is now at $1,500 with the addition of the trip. John is concerned that he may go over his limit on the trip, so he calls the bank and since John has been making his minimum payments for the last 8 months, they gladly up the limit to $5,000. John knows that will be more than enough.
John returns from Vegas with a credit card balance of $2,400. He is very glad he had the limit increased. As John is making a plan as to how to begin paying the balance down, it hits him; “If my roommate is getting married, I will need to find a new roommate or my rent will be going up.” John thinks, “I am not in college any more and I don’t want a stranger living with me.” John decides to pay to rent by himself. Now John’s budget looks like this:
Net Income: $1,745.84
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$900.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $80.00
Car: $362.00
Credit card $50.00 ( the new minimum payment, balance of $2,400)
Savings: $0.00 (total savings balance $200.00)
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Entertainment $50.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $8.84
After one year on the job, John is on the same road as many Americans. Living month to month with little to no savings, credit card balances, an upside down car loan, and stress trying to keep up.
Let’s now look at John’s twin brother Jimmy. Jimmy also being in the management training program driving a 1993 Chevy Corsica has a lot in common with John. Jimmy decided that he was going to live by himself early on due to most people not understanding his hobby of collecting porcelain cats. Jimmy found a small one bedroom apartment in a safe but older area from $500 a month. Jimmy budget looks like this:
Gross Income: $2,083.33
Taxes: $624.99
Insurance: $150.00
401k $104.16
Net Income: $1,204.18
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$500.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $150.00
Savings: $125.00
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Cat collection $100.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $34.18
Jimmy hears John talk about his new car after they have both been working for 4 months. Jimmy knows that his car is a piece of junk and no ladies will ride in it, but he also understands that based on his current income, his money is best put in savings. As the year goes by, Jimmy continues to save and get mocked in the parking lot by John and John’s roommate from John’s new car for the P.O.S. that Jimmy is driving. Jimmy quickly fires back that if they don’t stop the porcelain “witch” cat that he just got off of craigslist will cast a spell on him.
John decides to make peace with Jimmy after they both get promoted to Jr. Manager by inviting Jimmy to Vegas. Jimmy thanks him for the offer and looks at his financials.
Net Income: $1,745.84 (after raise
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$500.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $150.00
Savings: $500.00
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Cat Collection: $100.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $200.84
Assets:
Car: $1 (basically worthless)
Savings: $2,000.00 (after this months payment)
Total: $2,001.00
Debts:
Zero
Net worth: $2,001.00
Jimmy knows that his beloved 1993 Chevy will not make it much longer, so he decides to stay at home. This was a hard decision as Jimmy was glad to feel included, but he knew he did not need to spend the money.
………………………………………………………………….
What will happen next to John and Jimmy? Find out with the next post.
Debt has been around for centuries. But with technology, over the last 30 years in the United States debt has become an epidemic. The two sides of the fence both blame each other. The financial industry argues that personal responsibility should be the focus, where the consumers argue that deceptive lending practices and fees are the cause. As with many topics, there is truth on both sides in addition to false information.
I believe that personal debt is a lifestyle choice. We as people have the choice to go into debt to buy anything, a house, car, education, furniture, vacations, electronics, food, etc. Anything that you can thing of can be purchased on credit. The easy answer to staying out of debt is to only purchase that which you have the cash to pay for. But is that practical or even possible in the United States today?
In order to drive a car on the road as a teen driver in NC, you are required to pass a driver’s education course, a driving test, a sign test, a written test, and prove that you have liability insurance coverage in the event that you cause damage. In order to get a credit card, in some cases you simply need to be 18 years old and be able to sign your name. I like the personal responsibility argument, but I believe that the financial industry does not seem to understand or care that in order to claim personal responsibility, the person needs to have a fundamental understanding of the consequences of their actions.
I have a 3 year old and there are those times as a parent that I have to intervene in order for her to stay safe. If she is running in the driveway and gets too close to the road, I make sure to pull her back. I then try and explain that there are cars in the street and they could hurt her if she got hit. She will now say, “Daddy hold me. There are cars and if we get hit we will get a boo-boo and have to go to the hospital.” Simple, but she gets it. As consumers, why don’t we have the education to know that if we finance something we buy, that there is interest and fees, and interest rate increases if we are late on the payment?
According to jumpstart.org, currently there are only 4 states in the US that require at least one semester in personal finance in order to graduate. These are Utah, Missouri, Tennessee, and Virginia. There are several states that have personal finance worked into other areas or as electives, but there are still 26 states that have no requirement that personal finance is taught as part of the curriculum. Since financial education it not taught in more than half the country’s public schools, how do most people learn about personal finance? Unfortunately so often the case, it is by trail and error.
With no formal unbiased instruction, we as Americans are left to figure out personal finance on our own. Have you ever tried to learn a new sport, craft, or do-it-yourself project without someone to show you the right way to do it? Most of the time you end up developing bad habits or form, or have to complete repairs too early due to poor prep. Our personal finance is the same way. The difference is that a poor golf swing or drywall finishing technique may cost you a few extra hours of labor or strokes. A poor understanding of personal finance can lead to debt collectors, bankruptcy, not being able to retire, foreclosure, divorce, and too often depression and suicide.
The goal in writing this is to provide people with an understanding of how the system works for and against you, and how to live a more informed life. It would be ridiculous to assume that people will stop using credit all together as some famous financial personalities would have you do. The reason is that credit at its core can be good. Think of it as it relates to food. All of the diet fads that have you remove carbs, or fat, or sugar all claim big results. But, nobody ever has long term success because it takes all of these to maintain a healthy nutritional balance. Credit, as part of a healthy financial plan is good.
The first step in this journey is to understand that most people have a motive that does not involve helping you as a individual. If that was their only motivation, either you would not be able to afford their services, or they are doing this on a volunteer basis. The fact is that almost everyone giving out financial advise has someone to answer to. People are accountable to sponsors, producers, corporate quotas, commissions, and their own greed. They are happy to give you advise, but understand they know the hand that feeds them.
Teaching personal finance takes a two sided approach. We need to teach our children and youth about personal finance in order for them to develop good habits and a understanding of the system. In addition, those who already have experience with personal finance need to be educated on what they learned on their own so that bad habits can be corrected.
So, lets get started.
Personal finance at its core is debits (-) and credits (+). Debits being those things that you spend and credit being money you make. To win the game, your goal is to have your credits exceed your debits. The math is the easy part. The hard part is the psychology. When we get the “I wants” we too often find a way for the numbers to “work for us”. This is when we start loosing ground. Lets look at an example.
John starts his first job at Save-A-Lot in the management training program making $25,000 gross. He is single and has a roommate that he can split the rent with. John has no credit established as he does not have a credit card and his car is an older model that his parents bought him in high school. This is what John’s monthly financial statement looks like:
Gross Income: $2,083.33
Taxes: $624.99
Insurance: $150.00
401k $104.16
Net Income: $1,204.18
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$450.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $150.00
Savings: $180.00
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Entertainment $100.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $29.18
John has a good plan. He is starting to build a savings balance that will serve first as an emergency fund in the event that a large expense comes up or he loses his job. The fund should be 3-6 months worth of expenses. In John’s case his emergency fund needs to be between $3,522.54 and $6,7,045.08. How did I get this number? I used John’s net income of $1,204.18 subtracted his monthly savings and added back his health insurance. If John lost his job, he would still need basic insurance but he would not need to worry about putting money into savings.
Does John need credit? Answer: not yet. Some would say that this is a good time to establish credit with a small credit card. That way when it comes time for a newer car, John will have a good credit score and will be able to get a good rate. The reality is that we tend to buy much earlier than is needed.
The Trap:
John has a good job, is making money, and thinks; “you know, this car has a lot of miles on it and I do not have enough in savings for a big repair if that comes. And besides, the dealership is running some great year end deals with 72 month 0% financing. A new car would have a warranty, so if something went wrong, I would be covered.” So, off to the dealership John goes. The sales person is very nice and makes John feel great that he has a good job that will have an increasing salary since he will be management soon. The sale person shows John a few models and points out all the “new” features. John is amazed because his current car still has an 8 track and towels as seat covers. The salesman then explains that if John buys today that he can get the car with no money down. This is great! John has only been savings for 4 months so he would rather keep his savings of $720.00 in the bank. The finance officer has John fill in the credit application after John has already been drooling over the car for the last hour. The officer then explains that since John does not have any credit he will not qualify for the 0% financing. John is devastated. He has already texted his roommate bragging about his new ride and posted a picture on facebook. The financial officer explains that he can “help John out” and get him financing at for his new car for 72 months at $362 per month on the $19,000 price tag. The payment is a lot higher than John was thinking, but he is expecting a raise in 8 months and the new car gets better gas mileage so he will just cut some things back a little to make it work. So, John signs the paperwork and smiles on the way home with his new car. (I wonder if John noticed the 10.99% rate?)
John soon realizes that 30 mpg vs. his old 17 mpg car only makes a difference of $72 per month in gas. So, John has cut all savings from his budget and he is still $110 short. John decides since he was able to get a car, maybe he should mail in the credit card offer he got in the mail in order to fill the gap until his promotion. The credit card application is approved at 23% interest, and John decides to only put his gas cost on it.
As expected, John’s raise comes in 8 months. John’s salary has increased to $35,000 with his new title of Jr. Manager. John decides to evaluate his budget.
John’s monthly financial statement looks like:
Gross Income: $2,916.66
Taxes: $874.99
Insurance: $150.00
401k $145.83
Net Income: $1,745.84
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$450.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $80.00
Car: $362.00
Credit card $30.00 ($20 over the minimum)
Savings: $200.00
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Entertainment $200.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $128.84
John decided that it was time to restart his savings after draining it down to help cover expenses after buying the car. John’s balance sheet now looks like this:
Assets:
Car: $16,875 (800 miles per month for 8 months: 6,400 total miles)
Savings: $200.00 (after this months payment)
Total: $17,075
Debts:
Credit Card: $620 (making the minimum payment for the last 8 months, which only paid the interest a little of principal)
Car Loan: $17,450
Net worth: -$995
John is not happy, but he knows that things will start looking up now that he is paying more on the credit card balance. One week later, John gets some great news! His roommate got engaged and the bachelor weekend is going to be in Vegas! John quickly books his fly and hotel on the credit card because he can’t miss his roommate’s party. The credit card that had a limit of $2,000 is now at $1,500 with the addition of the trip. John is concerned that he may go over his limit on the trip, so he calls the bank and since John has been making his minimum payments for the last 8 months, they gladly up the limit to $5,000. John knows that will be more than enough.
John returns from Vegas with a credit card balance of $2,400. He is very glad he had the limit increased. As John is making a plan as to how to begin paying the balance down, it hits him; “If my roommate is getting married, I will need to find a new roommate or my rent will be going up.” John thinks, “I am not in college any more and I don’t want a stranger living with me.” John decides to pay to rent by himself. Now John’s budget looks like this:
Net Income: $1,745.84
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$900.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $80.00
Car: $362.00
Credit card $50.00 ( the new minimum payment, balance of $2,400)
Savings: $0.00 (total savings balance $200.00)
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Entertainment $50.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $8.84
After one year on the job, John is on the same road as many Americans. Living month to month with little to no savings, credit card balances, an upside down car loan, and stress trying to keep up.
Let’s now look at John’s twin brother Jimmy. Jimmy also being in the management training program driving a 1993 Chevy Corsica has a lot in common with John. Jimmy decided that he was going to live by himself early on due to most people not understanding his hobby of collecting porcelain cats. Jimmy found a small one bedroom apartment in a safe but older area from $500 a month. Jimmy budget looks like this:
Gross Income: $2,083.33
Taxes: $624.99
Insurance: $150.00
401k $104.16
Net Income: $1,204.18
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$500.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $150.00
Savings: $125.00
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Cat collection $100.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $34.18
Jimmy hears John talk about his new car after they have both been working for 4 months. Jimmy knows that his car is a piece of junk and no ladies will ride in it, but he also understands that based on his current income, his money is best put in savings. As the year goes by, Jimmy continues to save and get mocked in the parking lot by John and John’s roommate from John’s new car for the P.O.S. that Jimmy is driving. Jimmy quickly fires back that if they don’t stop the porcelain “witch” cat that he just got off of craigslist will cast a spell on him.
John decides to make peace with Jimmy after they both get promoted to Jr. Manager by inviting Jimmy to Vegas. Jimmy thanks him for the offer and looks at his financials.
Net Income: $1,745.84 (after raise
Expenses:
Rent & utilities:$500.00
Food: $120.00
Gas: $150.00
Savings: $500.00
Personal Hygiene $50.00
Car Insurance: $75.00
Cat Collection: $100.00
Cell Phone $50.00
Misc. expenses: $200.84
Assets:
Car: $1 (basically worthless)
Savings: $2,000.00 (after this months payment)
Total: $2,001.00
Debts:
Zero
Net worth: $2,001.00
Jimmy knows that his beloved 1993 Chevy will not make it much longer, so he decides to stay at home. This was a hard decision as Jimmy was glad to feel included, but he knew he did not need to spend the money.
………………………………………………………………….
What will happen next to John and Jimmy? Find out with the next post.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
August, where did you come from?
I have not posted in a little over one month. The summer can get busy. It really is amazing how fast this summer has gone by! I would say that it has been one of our best summers yet. We have spent a lot of time at the beach and on the boat, we have been to the water park, taken a few day trips, visited family, and completed a few races.
I have two more triathlons on my calender for 2012 that are fast approaching. These are the Wilmington YMCA Tri @ Wrightsville Beach in September and the Beach-to-Battleship half ironman in October.
Last weekend I completed my first Olympic distance triathlon. This was a 1500 meter open water swim, 27 mile bike, and a 10k run. Completing this was a big accomplishment for me. Up until about the 30 minutes before the race start, I had a major case of self-doubt. Prior to this race, my longest open water swim was 375 meters. The thoughts of "what if I get half way and panic, or get a cramp, or this, or that", were all that was in my head. The voice of reason, which is always Linds, finally got past the noise and said, "you are ready, just do it or I will kick your butt!" Nothing but love!! But, that is exactly what I needed. The race went well. It was not my fastest time, but that was not the goal of the day. Making the distance and enjoying the race was the goal, and I did both. My biggest take away from this race is to aways believe in yourself and what you are capable of. Trust me, I know how cheesy that sounds, but it is true.
So often we avoid our weaknesses not because we wouldn't like to do those things, but because of fear. If you have a dream to do something, whether it is running a marathon, learning a new language or how to play an instrument, writing a book, or starting a business, you should give it a try! What is the worse that will happen? If it doesn't work, you are still far beyond all of those that never tried.
What's on your bucket list? It is time to start working on checking some of those off.
I have two more triathlons on my calender for 2012 that are fast approaching. These are the Wilmington YMCA Tri @ Wrightsville Beach in September and the Beach-to-Battleship half ironman in October.
Last weekend I completed my first Olympic distance triathlon. This was a 1500 meter open water swim, 27 mile bike, and a 10k run. Completing this was a big accomplishment for me. Up until about the 30 minutes before the race start, I had a major case of self-doubt. Prior to this race, my longest open water swim was 375 meters. The thoughts of "what if I get half way and panic, or get a cramp, or this, or that", were all that was in my head. The voice of reason, which is always Linds, finally got past the noise and said, "you are ready, just do it or I will kick your butt!" Nothing but love!! But, that is exactly what I needed. The race went well. It was not my fastest time, but that was not the goal of the day. Making the distance and enjoying the race was the goal, and I did both. My biggest take away from this race is to aways believe in yourself and what you are capable of. Trust me, I know how cheesy that sounds, but it is true.
So often we avoid our weaknesses not because we wouldn't like to do those things, but because of fear. If you have a dream to do something, whether it is running a marathon, learning a new language or how to play an instrument, writing a book, or starting a business, you should give it a try! What is the worse that will happen? If it doesn't work, you are still far beyond all of those that never tried.
What's on your bucket list? It is time to start working on checking some of those off.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Extreme Makeover...Vacation Edition
I am back to the day-to-day routine this morning after a great week off with Linds. Our vacation started after work, Friday a week ago, with a Luau party. I dressed up in my best Panama Jack outfit, and Linds looked amazing! From there, we raced a sprint triathlon on Sunday morning and then Sunday afternoon Riley left with Mamaw and Papaw to spend the week. From this point, Linds and I had no plans for our week.
Since we have been married, "vacation" has always consisted of traveling. Whether it was a short trip or a far away destination, we have always traveled. I have always been of the mindset that if you are at home, you cannot truly relax. The reason for this is, there is always something at the house that needs to get done. Cutting the grass, cleaning the garage, trimming the bushes, etc. If you start guilting yourself into doing these chores, then you are not vacationing.
This time however, Linds and I for several reasons, decided to stay at home for vacation. I will admit, day one was hard to get into vacation mode, but I did. The week filled up with sitting on the beach reading, taking the ferry to Southport, a wine tasting, day trip to Myrtle Beach, taking the boat out, going to the movies, and several nice dinners out.
This week, I have to get back in gear. My dress pants this morning made their point that I have enjoyed myself a little too much!
Since we have been married, "vacation" has always consisted of traveling. Whether it was a short trip or a far away destination, we have always traveled. I have always been of the mindset that if you are at home, you cannot truly relax. The reason for this is, there is always something at the house that needs to get done. Cutting the grass, cleaning the garage, trimming the bushes, etc. If you start guilting yourself into doing these chores, then you are not vacationing.
This time however, Linds and I for several reasons, decided to stay at home for vacation. I will admit, day one was hard to get into vacation mode, but I did. The week filled up with sitting on the beach reading, taking the ferry to Southport, a wine tasting, day trip to Myrtle Beach, taking the boat out, going to the movies, and several nice dinners out.
This week, I have to get back in gear. My dress pants this morning made their point that I have enjoyed myself a little too much!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Look, an Eagle Scout. It must be time to buy cookies again
So we received a flyer at our door asking for school supply donations for an Eagle Scout project. The project is to collect, pack, and hand out backpacks with school supplies to kids of deployed solders. While this is a nice idea, I am struggling with how this is worthy of an Eagle Scout project. At the beginning of every school year, there are collections and supply drives for students in need at almost every store. I am sure that some families of solders are struggling financially, but I am sure their emotional struggle is much harder. Why not organize an after school project for these kids where they can make something nice to send to their parent? Teach them some of the skills that you have learned as a scout.
When I was in scouting, had I presented this idea (which I would not have) to the troop committee, I most likely would have been told, "Thank you, try again". An Eagle Scout project should be an exercise in planning, leadership, and execution. However, it should also be a showcase for what you have learned and paying it forward. I am not saying that this is not a good cause. However, what does this show the community that scouting has taught you. If you ask a room full of random people to do something "nice", I would bet one would say collect supplies for kids. This does not make them an Eagle Scout.
I greatly enjoyed my time in scouting. We had a good group. Within the group, there was a core group of guys and then there were the other guys. The core group were fun, interested in learning and committed to the scouting fundamentals. We would joke that John, one of the core guys, could build a shopping mall with a toothpick and a piece of rope. The other guys were there either because their parents wanted them involved, they had friends in the troop or needed to make friends, or simply needed something to do. These guys did not take scouting seriously and would be the first ones to complain if they were being pushed too hard. Within the core group, a few of us went all the way to Eagle Scout. We are all very proud of this. I take pride in the journey, the hard work that went into it, and the accomplishment.
To me, this project screams, "I want to do something easy so that I can hurry up and finish". A disservice is being done to these boys as they will someday learn the reward is in the journey not a bullet point on your resume.
When I was in scouting, had I presented this idea (which I would not have) to the troop committee, I most likely would have been told, "Thank you, try again". An Eagle Scout project should be an exercise in planning, leadership, and execution. However, it should also be a showcase for what you have learned and paying it forward. I am not saying that this is not a good cause. However, what does this show the community that scouting has taught you. If you ask a room full of random people to do something "nice", I would bet one would say collect supplies for kids. This does not make them an Eagle Scout.
I greatly enjoyed my time in scouting. We had a good group. Within the group, there was a core group of guys and then there were the other guys. The core group were fun, interested in learning and committed to the scouting fundamentals. We would joke that John, one of the core guys, could build a shopping mall with a toothpick and a piece of rope. The other guys were there either because their parents wanted them involved, they had friends in the troop or needed to make friends, or simply needed something to do. These guys did not take scouting seriously and would be the first ones to complain if they were being pushed too hard. Within the core group, a few of us went all the way to Eagle Scout. We are all very proud of this. I take pride in the journey, the hard work that went into it, and the accomplishment.
To me, this project screams, "I want to do something easy so that I can hurry up and finish". A disservice is being done to these boys as they will someday learn the reward is in the journey not a bullet point on your resume.
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